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Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
How to destroy your life (for noobs)
So you really wanna destroy your life, right? I mean, you're obviously too much of a pussy to kill yourself, so you might as well just do the whole horrible person thing, right? I know what you're thinking, though. That dope needle is looking a little extreme... and I can tell you why! See, its a progressive thing. It may seem extreme now, but I have a little guide for ya here that'll get you from Student/Worker/Basement Dweller to junkie in less than a week!
I've been informed that you can join the military and do all this as well to fuck yourself over more.
1. Start Smoking Pot
If you know me, theres a good chance you already do this. Now a lot of people deny that pot is a gateway drug because it doesn't actually make you want to do drugs. I'm here to tell you this is a lie. It is essential that you start with one of these gateway drugs. Alcohol works just as well. In reality, anything that fucks up your judgement and exposes you to the drug scene will pretty much do it for you.
2. Start drinking every day
If you wake up in the morning and don't feel like shit, you're doing something wrong. That'll come easier as you get further into the lifestyle, but for now just focus on getting to the point, between pot and alcohol where you can not get yourself out of bed before 10am. I mean even if your house is on fire.
3. Start doing some pills
Eventually, one day while you're drunk and high and exposing yourself to them drug-doing and drug-dealing folk, you'll come across some pills. Now for now you're going to want to focus on benzodiazepines, like xanax, klonopin, valium, etc. Keep drinking, of course. The mixture of benzos and alcohol will make you feel like king fucking shit and open your mind to junkifying yourself up even more.
4. Switch to opiates
A lot of time the benzos will be harder to get because all the real junkies like the opiates so they flow like the ocean. Its pretty essential that you stick with the benzos and booze though, so that you'll be open to eating the more hardcore opiates. Start off with some percocets. Eat them every day. One or two a day at first. You'll slowly build a tolerance and learn that you need them to function. Once you need them to function, you're ready to...
5. Contact those old friends
Who out there doesn't remember at least one person from high school or college or whatever who got all fucked on dope or meth or something? Well, hit 'em up. If you don't have any, you'll have to mingle with your new opiate-doing friends until you run into someone. Anyway, after being around a dope fiend a few times, having already done some sort of benzo and fiending for your opiates, you'll realize... these people do heroin. Many people bitch out here. Man the fuck up and snort that shit, you'll love it. Now you have your dope connection, congrats. The final step is...
6. Buy some fucking works!
Walgreens and similar pharmacy chains sell insulin needles, aka dope needles aka works. Buy some. Mix your dope in a water bottle cap with a little bit of water. Get a cotton swab or a cigarette filter or whatever and draw the dope through the needle through your cotton. Pick a vein, shoot, and cry.
Congratulations, you're now hooked on heroin!
I've been informed that you can join the military and do all this as well to fuck yourself over more.
1. Start Smoking Pot
If you know me, theres a good chance you already do this. Now a lot of people deny that pot is a gateway drug because it doesn't actually make you want to do drugs. I'm here to tell you this is a lie. It is essential that you start with one of these gateway drugs. Alcohol works just as well. In reality, anything that fucks up your judgement and exposes you to the drug scene will pretty much do it for you.
2. Start drinking every day
If you wake up in the morning and don't feel like shit, you're doing something wrong. That'll come easier as you get further into the lifestyle, but for now just focus on getting to the point, between pot and alcohol where you can not get yourself out of bed before 10am. I mean even if your house is on fire.
3. Start doing some pills
Eventually, one day while you're drunk and high and exposing yourself to them drug-doing and drug-dealing folk, you'll come across some pills. Now for now you're going to want to focus on benzodiazepines, like xanax, klonopin, valium, etc. Keep drinking, of course. The mixture of benzos and alcohol will make you feel like king fucking shit and open your mind to junkifying yourself up even more.
4. Switch to opiates
A lot of time the benzos will be harder to get because all the real junkies like the opiates so they flow like the ocean. Its pretty essential that you stick with the benzos and booze though, so that you'll be open to eating the more hardcore opiates. Start off with some percocets. Eat them every day. One or two a day at first. You'll slowly build a tolerance and learn that you need them to function. Once you need them to function, you're ready to...
5. Contact those old friends
Who out there doesn't remember at least one person from high school or college or whatever who got all fucked on dope or meth or something? Well, hit 'em up. If you don't have any, you'll have to mingle with your new opiate-doing friends until you run into someone. Anyway, after being around a dope fiend a few times, having already done some sort of benzo and fiending for your opiates, you'll realize... these people do heroin. Many people bitch out here. Man the fuck up and snort that shit, you'll love it. Now you have your dope connection, congrats. The final step is...
6. Buy some fucking works!
Walgreens and similar pharmacy chains sell insulin needles, aka dope needles aka works. Buy some. Mix your dope in a water bottle cap with a little bit of water. Get a cotton swab or a cigarette filter or whatever and draw the dope through the needle through your cotton. Pick a vein, shoot, and cry.
Congratulations, you're now hooked on heroin!
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Fucking crazy ass google
Their cars are driving themselves now!
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/10/science/10google.html
This is pretty nuts. I fucking want one. I can't help but wonder though... haven't these people ever seen the Terminator? Or fucking seen i,Robot? The apocalypse is coming, be it by economic turmoil or robots overthrowing the world. Whichever comes first. Personally I'd prefer to see the US economy collapse. At least then it'd be our duty to take up arms against the government. Police are government. Wouldn't that be fun?
Have you heard of the HPEMS ? Just for shits and giggles I kinda want one. Wouldn't it be great to target a cop car with one, and then target the tow truck that came to pick it up as well? That'd be extremely fucking comical. Apparently something like this isn't so hard to make if you know what you're doing. I'll have to look into it.
Note that I am not a criminal and do not advise ACTUALLY doing this, but it seems like it'd be a fun idea.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/10/science/10google.html
This is pretty nuts. I fucking want one. I can't help but wonder though... haven't these people ever seen the Terminator? Or fucking seen i,Robot? The apocalypse is coming, be it by economic turmoil or robots overthrowing the world. Whichever comes first. Personally I'd prefer to see the US economy collapse. At least then it'd be our duty to take up arms against the government. Police are government. Wouldn't that be fun?
Have you heard of the HPEMS ? Just for shits and giggles I kinda want one. Wouldn't it be great to target a cop car with one, and then target the tow truck that came to pick it up as well? That'd be extremely fucking comical. Apparently something like this isn't so hard to make if you know what you're doing. I'll have to look into it.
Note that I am not a criminal and do not advise ACTUALLY doing this, but it seems like it'd be a fun idea.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
THESE GOD DAMN NIGGERS WITH THEIR GOD DAMN 'BAMA BUCKS ARE FUCKING UP OUR ECONOMY.
THESE GOD DAMN NIGGERS WITH THEIR GOD DAMN 'BAMA BUCKS ARE FUCKING UP OUR ECONOMY.
So. Apparently inflation is the key to fixing the US economy now? Or so thats what they're going to do or some shit? lulz. How about that fucker saying Democrat is the Food Stamp party? loloooo. I guess it's kinda true though. Most of middle-class America doesn't seem to see this shit because they don't get to live in the fucking ghetto like I do, so let me school you silly little fuckers on how these fucking niggers are working us all over (and how you can do it too!)
Step 1. Drop the Fuck out of High school.
This step is key, because if you don't you might attain a high enough education to realize what you're doing is wrong and/or obtain friends who aren't willing to be social scum like yourself.
Step 2. Don't you DARE get a fucking job
If you get a job, theres a good chance your application for free food money, subsidized housing, and free healthcare may be denied. Proving that you're poor and willing to make yourself look even more poor on paper is an extremely important part of living your socialist niggerfuck life.
Step 3. Knock a bitch up
This is where a lot of people would back out, but it's also where a lot of people unintentionally jump into the process. You see, once you have a child and no income, the government is required to give you some fucking cash. You will get a set amount of food stamps based on your income (which should be nothing if you're following this guide) as well as free healthcare for your babymomma and your child. At first you might only be able to get WIC, which only covers women infants and children, but thats okay because as soon as the children start to grow up, you'll get more of them foodstamps.
Step 4. Knock the bitch up several more times
Now somewhere in here you're going to realize that money is tight any maybe you should get a job. Do not do this. Trust me, if you just keep poppin' out babies, they're gonna keep giving you more and more fucking money. It's great.
Step 5. Turn your stamps into cash
Now you can actually start getting dollars. If you've done all of the above chances are you're living in some shithole neighborhood where every house is government subsidized and crack dealers are everywhere. If you're doing it right you should be getting ~$2-3000 a month in stamps. Now, in most ghettos you can find little corner stores that will trade you $100 food stamps for $50 cash. Cha-ching.
Congratulations, you now have money courtesy of American Taxpayers and the ingenuity (read: laziness) of niggers across the country.
Now that you've got a bit of cash...
Step 6. Buy some fucking drugs
Since you're already in the ghetto, you should have no trouble procuring a pound of weed or a kilo of coke to cook up to supplement your income. By the time you're successfully pulling this step off, you should have plenty of cash to buy yourself nice things, but remember: do not move out of the ghetto, do not buy a nice car. If you want to do either of those things, you'll have to get a job at McDonalds or something to prove tax-wise that you're paying for these things legit. If you do that, you're risking your 'bama bucks.
You are now a successful nigger, happy niggering.
First Post
So what will my blog be about?
Anything and fucking everything that comes to mind! Who isn't in need of extra writing practice? Well, me I guess but who gives a shit. Seems important enough.
Anything and fucking everything that comes to mind! Who isn't in need of extra writing practice? Well, me I guess but who gives a shit. Seems important enough.
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